First of all, can we all agree that Co-parenting exists in EVERY situation where there are multiple parents? It is a dynamic between people who share a child, not some cold expression reserved only for those of us who found ourselves on sinking ships..instead of relationships that is...wompwomp.,,..but yes, moving on.
With that said these co-parenting tips can be and should be applied to any relationship dynamic between parents, regardless of our relationship status; whether we love them to the moon or want to send them there on a one way ticket...we gotta make it work for the kids!
Here are a few of the ways I make sure to contribute positively to my Co-parenting dynamic.
Strive to be the Bigger Person
We don't have time to be petty here, not in the house, not in front of the kids, and certainly not in 2022. If you tell yourself you will handle every passive aggressive, out of pocket, slick little comment with style and grace than that's exactly what you will do.
I try and remember the love I have for my co-parent, this of course is easier for some than others...but allowing yourself to feel the love you have/had for them and how it translates to your child/ren will help anchor your feelings and serve as a starting point for when you need to re-align your feelings to match the overall goal at hand.
For most of us we have a good sense of who our co-parent is, we know what eases them as well as how to push their buttons. Use that to your advantage to smooth things over before things even get a chance to get rocky.
Unite That Front
...In other words, find common ground with your co-parent. If the two of you have something that you genuinely agree on, or enjoy talking about. Explore it further.
Do something fun, regardless of how good, or not so good the dynamic is, you owe it to yourselves to make it a little bit better; so long as both parties are comfortable. The more good memories you create together, the stronger your relationship grows as it develops.
Be Honest
Please, please do not hide things from your co-parent. In order to make the tip above work, you all need to have clear and open communication. This includes things that happen with the kids, certain thoughts or emotions you might be feeling, or any changes that might effect you personally.
Think "the golden rule". What are things you would absolutely want to know about? Make sure you extend the same courtesy to your co-parent.
These changes could include things happening at work or an upcoming trip. No matter how big, or small a lie will likely hurt your co-parenting relationship, and if it doesn't, the stress of having to lie could hurt you.
Also, confiding in one another, especially about things that directly effect your kids can serve as a way for the two of you to bond....hmm...I think I'm sensing a theme here.
Keep it Going
None of us are ever going to get it right all the time. AND THATS OKAY!
The most important thing is that we are constantly trying to put our best foot forward. Whether you are living in the same household as your co-parent, or you could care less to see them everyday; as long as they choose to be apart of their child's life, they will be a part of yours. It doesn't hurt to do our best to strengthen or build the relationship with them whenever the opportunity presents itself....just remember, sometimes you have to create the opportunity. You've got this!
Did I miss anything? Please leave a comment on your most important co-parenting tip, let's share the wealth!
